Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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