She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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