3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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