I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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