My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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