She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
