i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
