I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
