Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
