No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just gift wrapped bread.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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