if you like me you must not know who I am
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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