Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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