I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
