they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
