I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think people are normalizing furries
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