According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drake has all the answers
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
