the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
