Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
