I don't remember. Are we still dating?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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