So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
