a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
