Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So apparently I’m into choking now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
