How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
