If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize