is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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