before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
