I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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