Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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