i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
this hospital has no fireball
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
