I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
are you so shy because you have an std?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize