I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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