he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
