Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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