Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
