SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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