everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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