i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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