What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
