we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
