dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
