U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
