I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
