the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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