I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
