The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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