so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
