I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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