I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All the doctor said was why
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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