So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
