I'm so fucking centered right now
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
