He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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