I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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