Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
