Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We're too hungover to prance.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize